


Words of Advice

by killerweasel



Series: Friends in Low Places [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: Crowley is a sexpert (Good Omens), Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23205592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: Sandalphon needs advice from an expert.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Sanalphon/Asmodeus (Good Omens)
Series: Friends in Low Places [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654894
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	Words of Advice

Title: Words of Advice  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Crowley, Sandalphon  
Pairings: Crowley/Aziraphale, Sandalphon/Asmodeus  
Word Count: 700  
Rating: PG  
A/N: After Episode 6.  
Summary: Sandalphon needs advice from an expert.

"Apples aren't supposed to be in season right now."

Crowley dropped the apple he'd been holding with a startled yelp before turning to glare at Sandalphon. "My trees, like my flowers, do what I want when I want them to. Aziraphale wants to make apple pie, apple sauce, and a bunch of other apple things, so the trees are providing." He plucked off another apple and tossed it not so gently towards Sandalphon's head. The Archangel caught it.

"This apple smells like fear." He took a big bite and made a pleased sound. "At least you can barely taste the fear under the sweetness."

"Why are you here? Wasn't it your group of thugs who tortured Gabriel?"

"I'm not here for him." Sandalphon leaned against one of the trees. "I actually wanted to ask you about something."

"Me?" He set the next apple into the basket with the others. "Why in the world would you need to speak to me? I don't think we've ever had any encounters previously."

"You're a demon with an angelic boyfriend."

"Ah." He looked Sandalphon up and down. "That rumor about Asmodeus shagging an Archangel a couple centuries ago were true. You two have managed to keep one Heaven of a secret."

"Unlike other Archangels I know, I'm very discreet and what I get up to is no one else's business." He rolled his sleeve up, exposing a scar which ran from his elbow to his wrist. It was twisted and jagged, as if a creature with very large teeth had tried and failed to tear Sandalphon's arm off. "I could have had this miracled away or asked for a new corporation, but I keep it to remind me of when I first met Asmodeus."

Crowley closed the distance to get a better look at the scar. "I recognize those teeth marks. You had a run-in with Leviathan when they were in their aspect form." He thought for a moment. "Did it happen at Loch Ness?"

"She caught me off-guard. I had no idea her neck could reach so far until she was trying to eat me alive. I'm the reason she's missing her left eye." The smile on his face made Crowley take a step back. "The bite became instantly infected, making me delirious with pain and fever. I was very close to discorporating when Asmodeus found me. I assumed he would finish me off or bring me back to Hell to be tortured."

"That's why he asked me about angelic healing! I thought he'd found out about the time I used several miracles to heal Aziraphale's injuries." A snap of Crowley's fingers made a bench appear. He sat down and Sandalphon joined him. "He took care of you, didn't he?"

"It took over a week to get the venom flushed out of my system. I don't remember much of it, other than begging someone, anyone to kill me to make it stop. Instead, he made sure I would be fine." Sandalphon flushed. "I know how I look compared to the other Archangels. And Asmodeus, well you've seen him. He's like you, he changes to whatever he wants whenever he wants, but he's always..." He made a couple of gestures. "And I'm me. But we work very well together. Like you and Aziraphale."

"So what's your question?" Crowley's eyes widened as Sandalphon leaned over and started to whisper in his ear. Then the demon's eyebrows popped up so high they almost flew off of his head. "Oh. Wow. Uh. Give me a second." He miracled himself a notepad and a pencil. He drew a few sketches, looked them over, added a few more details, and then passed it to Sandalphon. "I think this would work? You might need to make a few adjustments depending on aspect size and what you have in the room. There's no such thing as too much lube and for Someone's sake, make sure you to talk it out before you start to prevent any mishaps."

A huge smile spread across Sandalphon's face. "This is perfect. You've been incredibly helpful, Crowley." He gave Crowley's shoulder a squeeze and then vanished.

"Asmodeus is going to owe me big time for this."


End file.
